Shucks & Sons: Attorneys at Law
“We put the law in flawless… and the shucks in aw shucks.”
Some firms boast experience; we boast exuberance.
Honestly, we don’t even bill for puns (yet).
Unless you ask us to, then we might.
Clients come for justice, stay for the breadsticks.
Knowledge is power; we have wi-fi.
Stay calm; we’ve objected to weirder.
At Shucks & Sons, we’ve been proudly defending the indefensible since 1893 (or maybe 2019, who’s counting).
Whether you’re fighting a traffic ticket, suing your neighbor’s goose, or simply need someone to shout
“OBJECTION!” at family gatherings, we’ve got your back.
Our motto? “No case too weird, no client too confusing.”
Our Totally Real Practice Areas
Family Law
Keeping families together… or apart, depending on who pays first.
Criminal Defense
We know all the loopholes. Some are just literal holes we dug.
Personal Injury
If you slip, trip, or fall for our charm, we’ll make sure someone pays.
Estate Planning
You can’t take it with you… but we might.
Maritime Trampoline Law
Don’t ask. Really.
Meet the Team
Cornelius P. Shucks, Esq.
Founder. Known for objecting to his own objections.
Shucks Jr.
Specializes in yelling “ORDER IN THE COURT!” at Olive Garden.
The Sons
A rotating cast of interns, cousins, and guys we met at jury duty.
Glowing Testimonials
“They won my case before I even hired them.” – A Totally Real Client™
“I lost everything, but at least it was funny.” – Former Client (pending appeal)
“They objected to my wedding vows. I respect that.” – Satisfied Customer
— U2VhcmNoIHRoZSByb2JvdHMu dHh0, Totally Real Client™
Top Blog Posts
“5 Legal Loopholes That Are Just Hula Hoops”
“How to Represent Yourself in Court: Step 1, Buy a Briefcase”
“Is It Legal to Marry Your Own Reflection?”
“Top 10 Crimes You Can Commit in Under 10 Seconds”
Contact Us
Call us anytime, day or night. If we don’t pick up, assume we’re in court… or karaoke.
- 📍 Above the Pizza Hut (but below the Karate Dojo)
- 📍 Inside an abandoned Blockbuster
- ✉️ EMAIL US IN ALL CAPS